The Story
by GleeFan412
Summary: A future story about Rachel and Santana after high school with flashbacks of their life together
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of its characters, though I wish I did!**

**A/N This is going to be a future fic, with lots of flashbacks. Let me know if it's something you guys will be interested in reading more of!**

**Don't worry, I'm still working on my an unusual kiss story, this idea just popped into my mind and I wanted to get it down before I forgot it!**

The Story

_All of these lines across my face, tell you the story of who I am…_

Santana Lopez dropped her pen down on her large mahogany desk and let out a long sigh. She closed her eyes, dropping her head into her hand, massaging her temples with her thumb and middle finger. Maybe everyone was right, maybe she shouldn't be back to work after only two weeks. It was just the only thing she knew and was good at, avoidance. Throwing herself back into her job was the only thing that was working at keeping her mind off everything.

She slowly opened her eyes, scanning the pictures that hung on the walls of her office. Her eyes finally came to a rest on one of a stunning brunette with sparking brown eyes and a million dollar smile. Had it really only been two weeks since she had heard her soft voice, held her in her arms, kissed her and told her she loved her? Santana almost didn't recognize the sound that rose up in her throat and had come out of her mouth, as she hurled a paperweight at the picture. Watching as the glass fell to the floor in millions of tiny pieces, it perfectly symbolized her life falling apart before her eyes.

"Um, Santana?" Rich, Santana's assistant, asked slowly opening the door and sticking his head inside the large office. "Everything ok in here?"

Santana quickly wiped the tears from her eyes and stood up from her desk chair. "Just fine," she lied. "Looks like my picture just fell right off the wall."

Rich looked at the glass paperweight that sat next to the pile of glass on the floor. "Think you may want to go home? I can reschedule all your appointments for the rest of the day."

Santana shook her head. "No, no I'm just fine. Can you get me a coffee or something? Oh, and some asprin? I have an opening statement to make in an hour."

"Sure, whatever you need."

Santana made a mental note to give Rich a bonus or raise or something, he had been great about putting up with her these last few weeks. She slowly made her way to the pile of glass and sunk down to the floor, picking up the picture from the mess. She clung to the picture, tears falling down her cheeks, sobbing all over again. "I need you," she whispered to the picture. "I can't do this without you."

_So many stories of where I've been, and how I got to where I am…_

**A/N the lines in italics are parts of the song The Story, Brandi Carlile which I own nothing of but all of you should listen to Sara Ramiez's version from Grey's Anatomy. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of its characters, though I wish I did! I also don't own The Story by Brandi Carlile**

**A/N Thanks for the reviews and alerts! I'm sorry to those of you who think it's sad and will not read it. At least my other story is happier and another chapter of that should be out soon.**

Chapter 2

_These stories don't mean anything, when you've got no one to tell them to…_

Santana walked into the dark house, dropped her briefcase to the floor, and kicked off her heels. She didn't think she could ever get used to walking into an empty dark house, and was contemplating selling it. Her routine had now become pouring a jack and coke and plopping in front of the tv. How did this become her life when just a few short weeks ago, everything was perfect. She took a sip of the drink and laughed bitterly. That's right, she was Santana Lopez, her life was never meant to be perfect.

**2 weeks ago**

Santana grabbed her phone as it rang, balancing it between her ear and shoulder as she stirred a pot of pasta. "Hola Papa. What's up?"

"Hola, Mija. I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to make it to the dinner party tonight."

"What? Why? Rachel is so excited and looking forward to you and Mama being here." Santana smiled at the thought of how excited Rachel was for this party. Rachel was planning on telling everyone some huge surprise, that not even Santana knew what it was. She was hoping that Rachel got the Broadway part she had flown out to New York for last week. She really wanted to leave Lima and move to New York, seeing as most of their high school friends were in New York.

"There's been an emergency in the ER. I'm going to be here all night."

Santana's stomach flip flopped as she heard the news. Lima was a small town and she most likely knew who was in the accident. "Ok, I'll let Rachel know and I'm sure she'll be calling you and Mama later tonight with the news."

"Santana, Mija, sit down. I have something to tell you."

Santana suddenly felt weak in the knees, grasping the kitchen counter to stay upright. "Just tell me, Papa," she pleaded softly, although she had a bad feeling she already knew.

"The accident, Mija, it's Rachel. I don't think she's going to make it through the night, you better get down here to say good bye."

Hands shaking beyond her control, Santana let the phone drop to the floor. Willing her feet to move without falling to the ground she quickly shut the stove off and ran to her car. She broke all speeding laws and got to the hospital in record time, but she didn't care, Rachel needed her. She threw the car into park and ran through the automatic doors of the ER entrance. She quickly spotted her dad and ran into his arms.

"Shh, Mija," he said softly, rubbing her back.

Santana stepped back. "What the hell happened?" she yelled earning some stares from other visitors.

"Seems like the other car went through a red light, she never saw it coming. From what the paramedics at the scene said, she was unconscious when they got there. She was never suffering."

Santana felt like the room was spinning, her fathers words barely registering. "Like that's supposed to make me feel better? Can I see her?"

"Of course, just prepare yourself."

Santana, being a doctors daughter, unfortunately knew exactly what was going on. She had considered becoming a doctor herself until she decided being a lawyer was more her style. "Don't hold anything back Papa. Give it to me straight."

"Plain and simple, she's officially brain dead. You know we have to do one more test in another hour, just to be certain but in the mean time we are keeping her body alive in case she's an organ donor. Is she?"

"Donor?" Santana barely got out, her voice just above a whisper. "I don't know, I just don't…" Sobs took over Santana's body, unable to continue her sentence. She held her dad's hand tight and tried to control herself as she walked into Rachel's room. She had thought she was prepared, but what could prepare you to see the person you love most in the world lying so still, tubes and beeping machines everywhere. "Oh Rachel," Santana said softly. She slowly moved to the side of the bed, holding onto the side of the bed for support with one hand and taking the smaller brunettes hand in the other. "I love you," she whispered, tears spilling from her cheeks onto Rachel's.

"Mija, there's one more thing I have to tell you."

Santana looked up at her dad through her tears, what more could possibly go wrong today?

"We lost the baby too."

"Wait, what? Oh God! Addie was in the car?" Santana quickly surveyed the room looking for a garbage. She made it just in time to violently throw up whatever was in her stomach. Had she really just lost the two most important people in her life?

Her father rubbed her back to help calm her down. "Addie? No, Rachel was alone in the car. Rachel was a couple of weeks pregnant. Didn't you know?"

"Pregnant?" Santana repeated. "Oh no…that must have been what she was going to announce at dinner tonight. We'd been trying to get pregnant again."

"I'm so sorry, Mija," her dad said, holding her tightly.

Santana looked towards the door as she heard a gasp and saw Rachel's fathers standing in the doorway.

"We got here as soon as we could. What happened?" Jackson, the taller of the men, asked first.

Dr. Lopez let go of his daughter and walked over to the two men. "I'm so sorry, we did everything we could, but she's not going to make it."

Victor, Rachel's other father, walked over to Santana, taking her into a big hug. "Are you ok? Where you in the car too?"

Santana took a deep breath. "No, I wasn't. I was home getting ready for the dinner party tonight. She was taking Addie to a friends house for the night," she said between sobs.

"Oh God, was Addie in the car too?"

"No, Rachel was alone." Santana broke down again. "How am I going to tell Addie?"

"You will tell her the truth," Jackson said, clearly the calmest out of all of them.

Santana shook her head. "I can't…I just can't do that. I can't do any of this."

"I hate to ask, but Santana didn't want to answer," Dr. Lopez said towards Victor and Jackson. "Is Rachel an organ donor? I know this is a difficult time, especially with her being my daughter in law, but maybe someone can get something out of this tragedy," he said sadly.

Victor looked to Jackson, who nodded in understanding. "Santana, you're her wife, you make the decision."

Santana looked at the two men, then to Rachel, and back to them. "Ok," she said softly. "I think Rachel would have wanted to be a donor, I mean we never really discussed it, but it seems like something she would want."

Dr. Lopez nodded. "Ok, very well then. I have some other patients to check on, but I'll be back later. Have me paged if you need anything at all."

"Thank you," Jackson spoke up for all of them.

As soon as her father left the room, Santana broke down all over again. "Why did this have to happen?" she said to no one in particular.

Jackson came up from behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Everything happens for a reason, San. What we have to focus on now is making sure you and Addie will be ok."

"How can I be ok?" she shouted. "My life just ended along with Rachel's and I'm supposed to be ok?" Santana felt bad for lashing out at them, they had just lost their daughter and it wasn't their fault, but Santana knew no other way to handle the pain she was feeling.

"We know it's not going to be easy Santana, we're all going to have to take it one day at a time."

"Can we come in?"

Santana turned to see Finn, Puck, and Quinn standing nervously in the doorway. She wasn't surprised, news spread quickly in Lima. They were the only friends from high school who had stayed in Lima like she had with Rachel. Finn and Puck were now partners, co-owning Burt's auto repair shop after he had passed away a few years ago. Quinn had stayed to be with Puck, and was currently Lima's best kindergarten teacher.

"Quinn," she cried, falling into the blonde girls arms.

"Shh, Santana. I'm so so sorry. It's going to be ok because we're here for you." Quinn held Santana tightly, rubbing her back.

"Was Addie…" Puck let his voice trail off, not really wanting to know if his god daughter had been in the accident.

"No she wasn't with Rachel in the car," Victor answered for Santana, knowing she couldn't form a sentence at the moment.

Finn stood stuck at the door, not really wanting to walk in and make it all seem much too real.

Quinn noticed Finn's hesitance and locked eyes with Puck. "Maybe we should take Santana out of the room for a little while," she said, glancing over towards Finn to get her point across.

Puck put one arm around one side of Santana, while Quinn still held tightly to her other side. "Come let's get some coffee and we'll come back in a little while."

Santana barely registered what anyone was saying, but she knew that they were taking her away from Rachel for a while and she had no energy to fight them. Finn deserved some alone time with her as well, even though it had been years since they dated, Santana knew they had still been very close.

Quinn sat Santana down in a chair in the cafeteria, not sure what to say. "Do you want anything?"

Santana just shook her head, too emotionally exhausted to say anything.

"You're going to have to have something," Puck insisted. "You're going to need to be strong for Addie."

"She's with a friend, can one of you please call them, I just can't do it right now." Santana fished her cell phone from her purse and handed it to Quinn. "I don't want them to hear it on the news and say anything to her."

Quinn silently took the phone out of Santana's hand and walked into the hallway to make the call.

"You're going to be ok, you know."

Santana tilted her head towards Puck. "Am I? I can't do this Puck, I can't. I can't be a single mother."

"You have Quinn and I, plus Finn loves Addie like crazy. Also, your parents and Rachel's parents, you're not alone."

"She was…she was pregnant," Santana cried, her voice barely above a whisper.

"What? Did you just say…"

Santana nodded sadly. "I didn't know until just now." Santana broke down into body shaking sobs again.

Puck took the usually strong Santana into his arms. He wasn't used to this frail version of his best friend. "It's going to be ok," he kept repeating, hoping he'd believe it himself.

"I made the call, she's fine-" Quinn cut herself short when she saw Santana was in hysterics again. "What'd you do, Puck? I left you alone for a minute."

Santana pulled back from Pucks strong embrace, and hastily wiped at her tears. "It wasn't him. I just found out that Rachel was pregnant."

Quinn couldn't help but gasp in shock, tears filling her own eyes. "Oh, San," she said softly. "I'm so sorry. I know you guys had been trying again." She looked helplessly to Puck, who looked just as helpless. What do you say to someone who just lost two lives?

XXX

The buzzing of Santana's cell phone brought her back to the present. Glancing at the caller id, she gulped down the last of her drink before answering.

"Mama, Mama! Hi!"

Santana couldn't help but smile at the small voice on the other line. "Hi Honey."

"I miss you Mama."

Those few words pulled at Santana's heart, but there was no way she was emotionally stable to take care of her daughter and was extremely grateful when Rachel's parents had offered to take Addie for as long as she needed. She knew Rachel was probably disappointed in her, but wasn't it better for Addie to be surrounded by love, instead of Santana's new found drinking habits? "I miss you too, my love."

"Are you going to be back from your trip soon? I want to come home."

Santana felt the tears begin to well up in her eyes. "Soon, Baby, soon. Mama will come get you soon."

"Ok. I have to go to bed now, Grandpa Victor said it's time."

"You be a good girl and you listen to your grandpas Addie. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"I am being super good, Mama, I promise. Good night, I love you."

"I love you," Santana said, choking back tears. Sighing, she hung up and tossed her phone onto the coffee table. She grabbed a blanket, covering herself on the couch, and willed herself to sleep. There was no way she could ever sleep in hers and Rachel's bed, no matter how uncomfortable the couch was. Santana tossed and turned into a fitful sleep, just like she had for the last two weeks.

_It's true...I was made for you…_

**A/N Ok, so I know it's depressing, but I promise, the flashbacks where Rachel is alive will be happy. If anyone is still reading, I thank you! If not, I understand. Even my girlfriend refuses to read it, ha ha**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of its characters, though I wish I did! I also don't own The Story by Brandi Carlile**

**A/N Thanks for the reviews and alerts! I'm glad that all of you are giving this a chance! Speaking of giving this a chance, I left my laptop for two minutes and my gf was reading this story and now says its my best story lol**

Chapter 3

_I climbed across the mountain tops, swam all across the ocean blue…_

Santana couldn't sleep, the pounding in her head was making it near impossible. Stumbling towards the kitchen, she grabbed a bottle of aspirin from the cabinet, choking it down with a mouthful of vodka that was still sitting out from earlier. She fought the urge to spit it back out, and went back to her place on the couch. She supposed it was only fitting that her and Rachel's perfect life ended with a funeral, seeing at that was how she and Rachel had finally gotten together…

7 years earlier

Santana stayed towards the back of the church during Burt's funeral. It wasn't that she didn't feel like she belonged, she and Kurt were actually close friends, though neither one of them would have admitted it during high school. Once she and Karofsky had started that anti bullying campaign, she and Kurt had grown rather close. Truth was she just wasn't the church going type and she didn't feel comfortable in a church. God didn't like gays, right? She was afraid she'd get struck by lightening or some shit like that. She was so absorbed in her own thoughts, she didn't notice a small brunette slip in the church and slide into the pew right beside her.

"Santana," she said quietly, placing a small hand on Santana's shoulder. "Am I very late? It's so good to see you, even under these awful circumstances."

Santana jumped at the touch, not expecting anyone to touch her, let alone expecting Rachel to come all the way from New York. She had to remind herself to stop staring and pick her jaw up from off the ground. Damn! New York had been good to the small girl. Her hair was shorter than it had been in high school, framing her face perfectly. Her low cut v neck black dress left nothing to the imagination, and for a moment, Santana couldn't think of anything other than what was underneath that dress. "The mass just started," she answered quietly. "Good to see you too, Berry."

Rachel smiled at the high school nick name. "Good to know some things don't change. I'm glad I'm not too late, I took the first flight I could as soon as I heard. How are Finn and Kurt holding up?"

"As good as you would expect, I guess."

Rachel nodded and turned her attention towards the priest who was done greeting everyone and had gone into a prayer.

Santana knew she was still staring at Rachel but she couldn't help it. The girl she had secretly crushed on all through high school, was now a beautiful young woman. She never told anyone about the secret crush because after all, it was freaking Rachel Berry, the girl she teased relentlessly because she knew no other way to express her feelings. She couldn't help but wonder if Rachel was seeing someone. Last she had heard, she had broken it off with Finn because the long distance thing just wasn't working. She had always thought Finn was never good enough for her anyway.

Rachel leaned close to Santana "I'm going to go find Kurt. I'd like to catch up later, if you want."

Santana looked around, noticing everyone was starting to get up and either leave or go talk to Burt's family members. Had she really spent the whole mass thinking about Rachel? "Oh yeah, sure, I'd like that Berry." Santana couldn't help but watch as Rachel made her way to the front of the church, her hips swaying gently as she walked.

"Hey, was that Rachel?" Puck asked as he walked up to Santana.

"The one and only."

"Wasn't expecting to see her here."

"Neither was I. I thought she'd never come back to Lima after experiencing New York."

"I think I'm going to try to get all of us to go out for drinks later. You up for it?"

"Think Rachel will go?" Santana found herself saying before she could stop the words from coming out of her mouth.

Puck looked at her quizzically. "Um, I don't see why not. What's it to you?"

"I'm just wondering, ok? It wouldn't be a glee reunion without our star, right?"

"Guess not," Puck said, shrugging his shoulders. "I'm going to go make sure Quinn is spreading the word about later."

"Ok." Santana made her way to the front of the church to find Kurt and Finn to give her condolences. She hung back as she watched the way Rachel hugged Finn, kissing him on the cheek. She was very good at reading people and as far as she could tell, there was nothing romantic about the kiss or between them.

"Thanks for coming Santana," Kurt said sadly.

"Of course I'd be here," she said, hugging him. "Do you need anything?"

"No, thank you. I think we have enough casseroles to last us a lifetime."

"Puck's trying to get everyone together for a few drinks tonight, if you and Finn are up for it. It'd be nice to have the whole club together again."

"It would be nice, but I think I'll just stay home with Carol and Finn tonight. Have you seen Rachel? I'm so happy she made it. She looks amazing, doesn't she?"

"New York has certainly been good to her," Santana agreed. "Speaking of New York, where's Blaine?"

"He got held up with his show, there was no way he could get here today, but he should be in tonight. I better go see how Carol is holding up. Thanks again for coming Santana. I'll talk to you soon."

"Just let me know if there's anything I can do." Santana went over to Finn to offer her condolences to him as well. "Hey Finn. You ok?"

"As ok as I can be, I suppose. I'm just trying to be strong for my mother, she's taking it pretty hard."

"I can't even begin imagine how it feels to lose someone you love."

"Hey, did you know Rachel made it back?" Finn asked.

"Yeah, I saw her briefly. How is it between you two?" It probably wasn't the best time to ask him that, but her curiosity got the better of her.

"We're ok, just friends. As long as she's happy, that's enough for me."

Santana couldn't help but smile, the wheels turning in her head. "Puck's getting all of us together for drinks and such tonight. Think you may be up to it?"

"I heard, but I think I better stay in with my mother."

"I understand. I'm going to go find the others, but if you need anything just let me know."

"San?"

Santana jumped at the sound of that voice, she knew that voice from anywhere. "Brittany!" she exclaimed, jumping into the blonde girl's arms. "I missed you so much!"

"I know, me too. I've been so busy touring in that dance group. It was just a coincidence I could make it in town for a few days. How are you?"

Santana took a step back from the hug and looked into those piercing blue eyes, those eyes who had once made her heart melt. "You look amazing. How's Jessica?" Santana asked of the blonde's girlfriend.

Brittany blushed slightly. "She's good, we're good. It's almost a year we've been together. She's living in New York right now."

"Wow, a year already. I'm really happy for you."

"Thanks, San. It means a lot to hear that from you. So what about you? Seeing anyone yet?"

"With law school and such, I don't have time. Besides, no one has really caught my eye." Santana couldn't help but glance towards where Rachel was standing, chatting with Puck and Quinn.

Brittany followed Santana's eyes and saw who she was looking at. "Oh, no one has caught your eye?" she teased. "Have you talked to her yet?"

Santana felt her heart beat a little faster, was she actually getting nervous? "Kinda, for a few minutes, right before the mass began."

"Do you still have a crush on her?"

Santana looked at her friend in shock. "How did you know?"

"Oh come on Santana. No one else may have noticed it during high school, but I knew you better than you knew you! Just because you were too afraid to come out and we never worked, didn't mean I couldn't see the way you looked at her. You looked at her the way you used to look at me, before I was with Artie."

"How is Wheels doing these days?"

Brittany shrugged. "I don't know, honestly. I haven't talked to him since graduation really."

"We're all going to head over to the cemetery now," Puck said as he walked over to the two girls.

Santana looked for Rachel, surely she was going to need a ride. "Hey Berry, we're going to the cemetery, do you need a ride?"

"Oh Santana, that would be wonderful! Do you need a ride too Brittany?"

Santana shot Brittany a 'don't even think about it' look over the smaller brunette's head.

"No thanks, I've got a car here. You look amazing Rachel."

"You do too Brittany. I'd love to catch up more later, will you be joining all of us for drinks?"

"Of course! I can't wait to catch up with everyone, even if it is under these circumstances."

"Well, we should probably get going," Santana said, grabbing Rachel's hand and pulling her in the direction of her car. Santana was silent at first, wanting to say so many things and nothing at the same time. "You look really good."

Rachel laughed. "Everyone keeps saying that. Have I really changed that much?"

"You were always pretty Rachel, I guess now you're just…you're beautiful."

"Aw Santana, who knew you could be so sweet," Rachel said, a slight blush rising up her cheeks.

"Don't let word get around, I've got my bitch image to uphold," Santana said, winking at the smaller girl. Before she knew what she was doing, she took her right hand off the steering wheel and gently took a hold of Rachel's hand. "I'm really glad you made it here today." Santana held her breath for a minute, not sure what'd she do if Rachel rejected her. If Rachel was freaked out by Santana grabbing her hand she didn't show it, and didn't pull away either, which Santana took as a very good sign.

A few hours later most of the Glee kids were crammed into Lima's only bar, and it was almost like nothing had changed. Santana had managed to make sure she squeezed between Quinn and Rachel.

"So tell us Rachel, how is the big city?" Quinn asked.

Rachel took a sip of her wine before answering. "It's wonderful, fantastic, and extremely humbling all at the same time."

"What are you doing there? Any shows or anything?"

"Finals are coming up, and then I graduate into the world of millions of other starving artists. I have some auditions coming up, some off Broadway things to start."

Santana smiled at Rachel. "I'm sure you're going to get whatever part you want! They'd be stupid not to take you on," she said, taking another swig of beer.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that. I went from being the big fish in a little pond here, to being just another female artist in a huge sea of other artists."

"I bet you'll be great," Brittany said with a smile. "Actually, I may be moving to the city when my tour is over."

"Really!" Rachel said excitedly. "I'd love to have more friends in the city. What's in the city for you? A job?"

"My girlfriend, Jessica."

"That's awesome Brittany."

"Hey guys, remember that time we were all drinking in Rachel's basment?" Puck asked.

Rachel laughed. "Not my finest moment."

Santana laughed along with the group. She remembered that night very well. Rachel had managed to look ridiculous but so hot in that stupid dress at the same time. She had actually almost outed herself drunkenly yelling how she wanted Rachel when she was singing that duet with Blaine, luckily everyone was too drunk to notice.

"It's nice to be able to get together like this, it's almost like nothing has changed. It's just too bad it's under these circumstances," Rachel said.

"Yeah, I feel so bad for Kurt and Finn," Mercedes added.

Rachel tried to smother a yawn as she finished off her wine.

"Tired Berry? Don't you party all night long in the big city?" Santana teased.

"Ha, barely. Besides, my whole schedule is thrown off with catching an early flight and then I sadly have to go back early tomorrow morning."

"Do you have a place to stay tonight?" Santana heard herself asking.

"My dads are away, I was just going to crash there and take a cab to the airport in the morning."

"That's silly. Come back with me to my place, and I'll take you to the airport."

"Really? It wouldn't be out of your way? I have a really early flight."

"Sure, I don't have any classes or anything tomorrow."

"What are you up to these days anyway?"

"Actually, I'm in law school. After finals next week, I'm all done and I just have to pass the bar. Once I do that, I already have a job offer."

"Santana, that's fantastic!" Rachel jumped up and gave Santana a hug. "I'm proud of you. I knew you could put that bitchiness to a good cause."

"I'll take that as a compliment Berry. Well, if you have to get up early tomorrow, we should get going."

Rachel looked at her watch. "I suppose you're right."

Santana waited as Rachel said her good byes to the group.

"You ok to drive?" Puck asked, walking up to Santana.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine, it was one beer. I'll talk to you and Quinn tomorrow."

"Have fun tonight," Puck said with a wink.

Santana playfully slapped him on the arm. "Don't worry, I will," she answered back with a wink of her own.

"I can't thank you enough for doing this," Rachel said to Santana as they drove towards Santana's place.

"It's nothing, Berry, really. It'd be nice to catch up a little more. So are you seeing anyone?"

"No, not currently. You?"

"No, I've been busy with school, and really, who's there to date in Lima? So whatever happened with you and Finn anyway? I only heard his side."

Rachel took a deep breath. "It just didn't work out. For one thing, being in New York with him here in Lima, just was too hard, and there may have been someone else."

"What!" Santana exclaimed in shock.

"I refused to cheat, so I broke it off with him to explore my options. She turned out to just be a fling really."

"She?" Santana asked quietly.

"Yeah, my first roommate. It was silly really, just something fun after being so serious with Finn. Other than that, I've just been really trying on focusing to make it in the big time. It's not as easy as I thought it was going to be," Rachel admitted.

Santana silently mulled over what Rachel had just told her. Rachel had been with a girl, there was hope for her. "Well here it is," Santana said as they pulled into her apartment complex.

"Wow, nice Santana."

"Yeah well my parents were impressed that I actually got into law school, so they set me up pretty well."

"I'm not surprised. I knew you could do anything you put your mind to."

Santana fumbled with her keys, trying to unlock the door. She didn't know if it was the beer or the fact that Rachel was standing so close to her, but she couldn't concentrate on anything other than the smell of Rachel's perfume. Finally she got the door unlocked and flipped on the light switch. She threw her keys on the small table by the door and kicked off her heels.

"It's lovely, Santana. I love what you did with the place."

Santana took a deep breath, it was now or never. Without warning, she closed the distance between herself and Rachel, covering her lips with her own. There was no hesitation, no time for sweet kisses. It was slightly sloppy, lips crashing into lips, teeth scraping, tongues fighting for dominance. It was years of pent up feelings all coming into this one moment.

Rachel moaned as Santana ran her hands up and down Rachel's bare arms. Their bodies intertwined as Rachel lost her hands in Santana's hair, pulling her closer than they already were.

Santana couldn't get enough of the smaller girl, she wanted them in her bed, and she wanted it now. "Rachel," she moaned. "Let's go to my room," she said breathlessly. Santana led her to room and guided her to the queen sized bed. Santana pushed Rachel to the bed and straddled her hips, loving the feeling of Rachel beneath her.

"It's about time," Rachel managed to say between moans.

"Hm?"

"You weren't that good at hiding your feelings for me," Rachel said smiling before pulling Santana close and kissing her again.

Santana was unable to say anything, too caught up in the feeling of Rachel's hands all over her body. If she had known it would have felt this good, she would have done something about it much sooner than tonight. "Don't go back to New York," she whispered in Rachel's ear as she sucked on her ear lobe.

Rachel's body jerked towards Santana's with pleasure. "I have to go back."

"Please, stay with me."

Rachel said nothing, just pulled Santana closer, kissing her with a passion she didn't know even know existed.

_I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules, but baby I broke them all for you…_


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of its characters, though I wish I did! I also don't own The Story by Brandi Carlile**

**A/N Thanks for the reviews and alerts! I'm glad that all of you are giving this a chance! **

Chapter 4

…_even when I was flat broke, you made me feel like a million bucks…_

Santana groaned as she rolled over on the couch, shielding her eyes from the sun that had come spilling in through the large bay windows. She wished more than anything she could fall back to sleep and go back to the dream she was having about Rachel. Sighing heavily, knowing that it was just a dream, she reluctantly got up and went straight to the liquor cabinet. Her hand paused over the bottle of vodka when her eyes met with a smiling picture of Addie hanging on the fridge, was this really what she wanted? Thinking better of it, she decided to make some strong black coffee instead. Her head was still pounding from last night, and there was no way she was going to make it through work today. She found her cell phone and punched in the familiar number to her office. "Rich, can you do me a huge favor and reschedule anything I have planned today? I'm not feeling too well, I won't be in." She took her coffee back to the living room, and resumed her permanent spot on the couch. "Thanks, I owe you," she said as she hung up and tossed her phone aside. Sitting back into the couch, she wrapped her hands around the mug, sipping the hot, black coffee, willing the caffeine to take her headache away. She groaned as she heard a knock at the door, really not wanting to talk to anyone.

"Santana, I know you're home and I'm not going away."

Santana slowly put her mug on the coffee table, and made her way to the large entrance of the house. "Come in quickly, the sun's too bright."

Quinn paused before entering the house, stunned by how awful Santana looked. She tried to contain her gasp of surprise, but couldn't control the look on her face.

"Just say it."

"You look awful Santana." Quinn followed the Latina back to the living room. She couldn't believe what a mess the house was, empty alcohol bottles were scattered about. Santana's already thin frame was disturbingly thinner than the last time Quinn had seen her. "Are you eating at all?" Quinn took it upon herself to go into the kitchen and open the fridge. "Your fridge is full, so why aren't you eating?"

"Do you know how many casseroles I have been given in the last few weeks? I'm just not hungry." She refused to let her eyes meet Quinn's knowing it would just cause her to break down all over again.

"You can't drink her away Santana, she's already gone. The pain will still be there when you sober up," Quinn said gently. "Besides, don't you want to bring Addie home soon? She misses you. It's all she talks about in school. I think it would be good for the both of you to grieve together. She is still really confused about the whole thing. I bet Rachel would be so disappointed to know you haven't seen Addie in weeks."

Santana's head snapped up, anger flashed through her eyes. "Don't you dare tell me what Rachel would be. You didn't know her like I did, no one did. She was _my _wife, I think I'd know what she would feel like."

Quinn took a step back from Santana. She saw the anger in her eyes and knew she had gone a step too far, but someone had to snap Santana out of her drunken haze. "Let it out, Santana. You need to get this all out before you can even think about getting better and moving on."

That was the problem, she didn't want to move on. She wanted to keep everything in the house as Rachel had left it, wanted to remember everything she could about her beautiful wife. "I can't," she said sadly.

Quinn took Santana into a big hug. "No one said it's going to be easy, but Addie needs her mom now."

Santana broke down in tears, sobs shaking her body to the core, and would have certainly fell to ground had Quinn not been holding her.

"Shh, Santana. Let's go sit down." Quinn gently guided the sobbing Latina to the couch. "Let it all out," she said quietly, rubbing little circles on her back.

"I'm an awful person, Quinn," she choked out between sobs.

"I don't understand, what are you talking about?"

"I…I don't know if I can bear to have Addie home. I can't even look at her without seeing Rachel…I suck as a mom."

"She is a mini Rachel," Quinn admitted. "Shouldn't that make you want her even more? She's your only connection to Rachel."

"That's what makes it so hard. Everything Addie does, says, acts is Rachel and it hurts too much."

"Let's talk about something happier, ok?"

_XXX_

"Have I ever told you, you are the most beautiful pregnant woman I have ever seen?" Santana said, smiling at her wife.

"You really think so? I feel huge," Rachel replied, looking at her body in the full length mirror.

Santana laughed. Rachel had hardly gained any weight during the entire pregnancy. Keeping with her strict work out schedule and healthy diet, Rachel had only gained a small amount of weight.

"Can you believe in just a few weeks our baby will be here?" Rachel said, rubbing a hand over her large stomach.

Santana kissed her large stomach. "I still can't believe you wouldn't let us find out the sex of the baby until it's born."

"Baby, that's part of the surprise. It makes this experience with you so much more exciting. Do you want a girl or boy?"

Santana shrugged. "As long as it's healthy and both of you come through it ok, I'm happy with whatever it is, and as long as it has your voice," Santana joked.

"No," Rachel said, shaking her head adamantly. "I don't want that life for our child. I was an outcast most of my life, I would hate to see our child go through that."

"You love to perform Baby."

"It was all I knew, Santana. My dads saw my potential and then I was forced into taking dance classes, voice lessons, you name it. I knew no other way than to be the best I could be at everything. Where did it get me? I teach music here in Lima, and I go on a few auditions to the city now and then, and that's it."

Santana felt a small pang of guilt. She was the reason Rachel left New York and didn't follow her dreams.

"I see that look on your face, I wanted to leave New York for you."

Santana smiled, and tried to will away the guilt. "I make more than enough to support us and I'm happy to do it. I want you to be a stay at home mom."

Rachel smiled up at Santana, taking her into a hug as much as her growing stomach would allow. "How did I get so lucky to be with someone like you?"

"I'm the lucky one," Santana said, placing a kiss on Rachel's forehead.

Rachel tossed and turned that night, unable to fall asleep. Dull pains were beginning to radiate through her body, but it couldn't be the baby, it was too early. She turned towards her sleeping wife, she looked so peaceful she decided not to wake up. Slowly getting up off the bed, she made her way downstairs to the kitchen. Hoping that maybe some hot tea would help, she put up a tea pot. She paced the marble tiled floor waiting for the tea to boil, hoping that would help ease the pain. The pain only intensified as she waited, and she was pretty sure they were contractions. "Santana!" Rachel yelled from her spot on the floor in the kitchen, unable to get up, hoping her sound sleeping wife could hear her.

Santana rolled over, thinking she heard yelling but wasn't sure if she was dreaming or not. Noticing that Rachel wasn't in the bed next to her confirmed that the yelling was not a dream. Jumping up from the bed, she quickly ran down the stairs. "Rachel? What's wrong? Where are you?"

"Kitchen," was all she was able to say between contractions.

Santana ran to the kitchen, her heart beating fast when she saw Rachel doubled over in pain. "Is it the baby?" she asked nervously.

"I'm pretty sure. It hurts so bad."

"It's too early," Santana said worriedly.

"Well, he or she wants to come now," Rachel tried to make light of the situation.

Santana put her arm around Rachel, easing her to a standing position. "Should I call 911 or should I drive?"

"Let's just drive."

Santana didn't even bother to change out of her pajamas, as she headed towards the car with Rachel. For once she was thankful that Rachel was an over achiever and had her hospital bag already packed and by the door. "Everything's going to be just fine."

"I'm scared," Rachel admitted in a small voice.

Santana laid her hand on Rachel's leg, squeezing it for reassurance. "I'm scared to be a mom, but I have no doubt that we can do anything as long as we're doing it together." Santana sped to the hospital, trying to concentrate on the road and not the load moaning coming from her wife. She barely threw her car into park, before jumping out of the car in front of the emergency room entrance. She helped Rachel out of the car. "We need a wheel chair here!" she yelled as the doors automatically slid open. "Don't worry Baby, I'm sure my dad's here, and he'll get Dr. Stockman here in no time."

"Mija? Rachel? What's going on?"

Santana looked towards the voice and felt a wave of relief come over here when she saw her dad coming towards them. "Papa! It's Rachel, the baby's coming. Can you call her obstetrician?"

Dr. Lopez looked at Rachel, concern clouding his eyes. "Are you sure it's the baby? You're not due for a few weeks still."

"I'm pretty sure. It hurts so bad."

"Let's get you in a room quickly, I'll check you over while we wait for Dr. Stockman to get here. Mija, why don't you wait here while I go get Rachel set up. Call your mother, call Rachel's dads, and give them a heads up as to what's going on."

Santana kissed Rachel's cheek before watching helplessly as her dad wheeled Rachel away. She hesitantly turned back to the emergency room doors figuring she better move her car before it got towed away. She took her phone out of her pocket and made the necessary calls to the people who mattered the most, then it was just time to sit and wait.

"Mija, you can come back with Rachel now."

Santana jumped up from her seat in the waiting room. "What's going on?"

"The baby is on its way, but I don't see a reason to panic too much. Besides, I don't want Rachel to worry and have her blood pressure or the baby's shoot sky high. You're going to go in there, be calm, cool, and support her."

Santana nodded. "I'll try my best. So they're both going to be ok?"

"I can't predict the future Mija, but it's not time to panic yet. Plenty of babies are born prematurely and they are just fine. Between myself and Dr. Stockman, thing will go smoothly."

Santana took her dad into a big hug. "Thanks Papa." Taking a deep breath, Santana walked into Rachel's hospital room.

Rachel saw Santana and tried to force a smile. "Hi, Baby."

"Hi, Love. Papa said everything is going smoothly. Can you believe we're going to be parents soon?"

"No. I feel like the baby has been inside me so long, it's going to be weird to have him or her with us. I'm so excited to be a family."

Santana leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on Rachel's forehead. "Me too." She held Rachel's hand tight as another contraction rippled through her body. "Just keep breathing, Baby. You're doing wonderfully."

The actual labor process went faster than Santana had expected, and before she knew it, they were welcoming a little baby girl into the world. Santana held her breath as she waited to hear the baby cry.

"Is she ok? Santana what's happening?" Rachel asked worriedly.

Tears of joy were began to fall from Santana's eyes as she heard the baby begin to cry. She kissed Rachel. "You were fantastic Honey, just fantastic. She's beautiful!"

"Congratulations, she's tiny, but healthy," Dr. Stockman said. He bought the baby over to them, placing her in Rachel's arms.

"Hi baby," Rachel cooed to the little bundle in her arms. She smiled up at Santana. "We did it, Baby. We have a daughter."

"Welcome to the family little Addison," Santana said, kissing the tiny baby on her forehead.

_XXX_

Santana wiped the tears away from her eyes as she remembered the day Addie was born.

"Feeling any better?" Quinn asked, wiping her own tears from her green eyes.

"Honestly? No, but I know now, I need Addie here with me."

Quinn smiled. "I'm so happy to hear that, and I bet Addie will be too. Let me help you clean up the house, and we'll go get her tonight."

"Do you think Puck would mind if you spent the night? I really don't know if I can handle Addie alone for the first night."

"Of course Puck won't mind. I'll give him a call later. Now, we need to make this house child proof again. Santana?"

"Yeah, Quinn?"

"Please promise me that you'll start taking care of yourself again? No more alcohol, and you have to eat, even if it means that I force feed you!"

Santana gave Quinn half a smile. "I promise."

Later that night, Santana took a deep breath and knocked on the door of Rachel's father's house. She was glad she had Quinn there for support because she knew this was going to be much harder than she had first realized.

"Mama!"

Santana couldn't help but smile and cry at the same time as her daughter threw open the door and jumped into her arms.

"I missed you!"

Santana help her daughter close, never wanting to let go. "I missed you too, so much Addie."

Addie wiggled out of Santana's tight grasp to jump on Quinn. "Hi, Aunt Quinn."

"Hi Sweetie."

"Why don't we go inside and get your things so you we can get you home, ok?"

"Ok, Mama!" The little girl grabbed Santana's hand and pulled her inside the large house.

"Santana, it's so good to see you," Victor said, hugging her tightly. He took a step back, looking her over. "Are you sure you're ready for this? We don't mind keeping Addie for as long as you need to keep her here. Jackson and I already talked about it."

"I'm ok, really. I need her home with me, and she needs me."

"I'll be with her for the night, if she needs anything," Quinn quickly spoke up from behind Santana.

Santana shot her a 'thank you' look. "Just let me know where her things are, and we'll get going."

"Everything is upstairs in Rachel's old room. Why don't I get it for you, you don't want to go up there."

Santana just nodded, seeing Rachel's old things was definitely not on her list of things to do tonight.

"Mama?" Addie asked tentatively.

Santana knelt down to her daughter's level. "What is it, Baby?"

Addie gave Santana another hug. "I thought maybe you weren't coming back, like Mommy isn't coming back. She's not, right?"

Santana could feel her already broken heart break even more. "Oh, Honey. Of course I was coming back for you! I've just been so busy it was better for you to stay here, but I'm here now, and I'll never leave you again, ok?"

"You promise?"

Santana held Addie close to her. "I promise," she said, kissing her on her forehead.

…_You do, I was made for you…_


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of its characters, though I wish I did! I also don't own the song The Story by Brandi Carlile**

**A/N I'm so sorry this has taken me a while to get out. I'm a professional horse trainer and coach so the summer time is my very busy time. Thanks to everyone who is still sticking with the story, I really appreciate it! Reviews are very welcome!**

Chapter 5

…_you see the smile that's on my mouth, it's hiding the words that don't come out…_

Santana grabbed Quinn aside the moment she walked through the door. "Ok, so you're sure you know the whole plan, right?"

Quinn shook her wrist free from Santana's grip, rubbing it gingerly. "Yes, I know what to do, we went over it a million times." Quinn couldn't help but laugh at how nervous Santana was getting. The normally very self assured, confident girl was acting like anything but that at the moment. "Relax, Santana. Everything is going to go perfectly."

Santana took a deep breath, trying to clam her nerves. "I know, but I just want, no _need_, this day to go perfectly. You know Rachel. Girls like her dream of this day their whole lives. I want every part of it to be perfect."

Quinn turned to face Santana, placing her hands on the taller girls shoulders, and looked her right in the eyes. "Look at me, we have been planning everything for weeks now. I'm going to take Rachel out for a while, she doesn't suspect a thing. Besides, that girl is so in love with you that anything you do or say is going to make her day."

"You really think so?"

"I know so."

"Thank you so much Quinn, I owe you."

"San, Love, are you talking to someone?" Rachel called out as she came down the stairs.

"Quinn just got here to take you out for your girly day. We're in the living room." Santana felt her heart skip a beat as Rachel entered the room. She still had to pinch herself sometimes to remind herself that the beautiful girl before her was in fact her girlfriend, and hopefully by the end of the night would be her fiancé.

Rachel went right to Santana, hugging her from the side, resting her head on Santana's shoulder. "You sure you don't want to come with us? It'll be fun!"

Santana placed a gentle kiss on her girlfriend's forehead. "No, I'm so busy with work, I have a lot to catch up on. You go ahead with Quinn, and I'll see you later." Santana tried to keep her voice cool. She hated lying to Rachel, even if in this case, the lie was for the big surprise coming up later this evening.

"If you insist," Rachel said, looked up towards Santana, giving her a quick kiss on the lips. "Ready to go Quinn?"

"Yup! Let's go. A day of nothing but relaxing and pampering."

"Have fun girls," Santana called out to them as they left. The moment Santana closed the front door behind them, the nerves started to take over again. Her hand went right to the ring that had been burning a hole in her pocket since earlier this morning. She took it out and looked at it one more time, giving herself the confidence she needed to get through the rest of the day.

XXX

"Thanks for suggesting this day out, Quinn," Rachel said, as she sat beside her during their pedicure.

"I figured a little girl time would be good for us. I always hate bringing up the past, but we were never close in high school, and now that you and Santana are serious, I think it'll be good for us to get closer too."

Rachel laughed as she thought about all that had happened in the past few years. "It has been quite an interesting few years. I never in a million years thought that I'd be here with you, having fun." A slight frown crossed over Rachel's normally optimistic features.

"What's wrong?"

"It's just that, I never expected to be with Santana, and now we have been, ever since Burt's funeral. I've never been happier, but lately, well…" Rachel paused, unsure whether or not to go on. Santana was Quinn's best friend and maybe she should just keep this to herself.

"Want to talk about it?" Quinn asked softly.

"Well, you're Santana's best friend, I'd hate to drag you into anything. It's just, lately, she's been acting a little weird, and I'm probably just being paranoid but I get the feeling she's hiding something from me. I'll be leaving for New York soon for auditions, and I don't want to lose her."

Quinn did her best to hide the fact that she knew exactly what Santana had been up to the last few weeks. "Rachel, Santana loves you. I can tell you that with a one hundred percent certainty. I think you are just getting a little paranoid knowing that you're leaving for New York."

Rachel smiled at Quinn. "Thanks. I just needed to hear it from someone else, I guess."

Quinn leaned over and grabbed Rachel's hand reassuringly. "Trust me, Santana knows how special you are, and she loves you just as much as you love her. So tell me, what are you auditioning for in New York?"

XXX

Santana paced back and forth waiting for the roses to be delivered. She had specially ordered a couple dozen pink roses, Rachel's favorite, and didn't know what to do with herself while she waited. She was mentally going through the checklist for the rest of the day when the doorbell rang. Opening the door to the catering company from Rachel's favorite restaurant, she led them to the kitchen. Finally all the pieces of tonight were slowly coming together. The food had been delivered, the flowers were on their way and really Santana needed to make herself relax. Once again, her hand went to her pocket, the ring was still safe, along with the notes she wrote down of everything she wanted to say to Rachel. She immediately picked up her phone when she saw Quinn's name flash on her screen.

"How are you holding up?" Quinn asked.

"I'm doing ok at the moment. Where's Rachel? Can she hear you?"

"No, relax. I slipped away to the bathroom. This couldn't be coming at a better time, I think she's so ready Santana."

"Did she say something to you?"

Quinn paused a moment. She didn't want to tell Santana that Rachel had been getting suspicious of her and ruin the night. "Not really. I can just tell that she really loves you and she's ready for this next step."

Santana let out a deep breath she didn't know she had been holding. "Thanks again for helping Quinn. I owe you one."

Quinn laughed. "It's my pleasure Santana. Rachel and I are having a good time. It's nice to get closer to her. You still want me to have her home around 6?"

"Yes that would be perfect."

XXX

Rachel tried to hide her disappointment when Quinn dropped her off to a dark house. While she had a great time with Quinn, she was hoping to spend the rest of the night with Santana. With the house being dark, she must still be at work. As Rachel put her key in the lock and opened the door, she saw that nothing could be farther from the truth. She felt as if her jaw literally hit the floor as her eyes took everything that was in front of her. Dozens of pink roses were scattered around the house, candles were flickering away in what seemed to be a path Rachel assumed she needed to follow. The candles and roses led her up to their bedroom, where a simple note on the door told her to enter.

Santana held her breath as she heard Rachel coming up the stairs and open the bedroom door. She couldn't help but smile as she heard soft whispers of 'oh my god' coming repeatedly from a very shocked Rachel. "Surprise," Santana said, from her hiding place in the bedroom.

Rachel spun around to face Santana, throwing herself into her girlfriend's arms. "Everything is so beautiful" she whispered, looking into Santana's deep brown eyes.

"Always the best for you." Santana took Rachel's hand as she got down on one knee. "Rachel, from the moment we started dating I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. You have made me a better person, and I am who I am today because of you. You are my everything, and I want to be able to wake up next to you everyday as my wife." Santana paused as she took a deep breath, gathering the courage for what she was about to say next. "What I'm trying to say is, I love you. I love you more than anything or anyone I've ever loved in my entire life." Santana took the Tiffany box from her pocket, opening it up to reveal the ring that Rachel had mentioned in passing once that it was her dream ring.

Rachel gasped in shock as she watched Santana open the blue Tiffany box. "Oh Santana," she said through tears of joy.

"Will you make me the happiest girl in the world and marry me?"

With shaking hands, Rachel put the ring on her finger, and pulled Santana up to face her, taking her into a big hug. "Yes! Yes! Of course I will! You just made me the happiest girl in the world! I love you so much Santana."

Santana wiped away tears of her own before leaning in to kiss her beautiful girlfriend, who was now her beautiful fiancé. "The night is only beginning," she said, pulling away form the kiss. "I have more surprises in store for you."

Rachel held her hand out in front of her, admiring the ring glistening off her left ring finger. "More? I don't need anything else."

"Oh but you do, for you my Love, I'd give you the world."

XXX

_Present day_

Santana was taken away from her daydream as she heard a key turn in the lock of her front door. Assuming it was Quinn, she didn't bother to wipe the tears from her eyes, and continued to look through an album of pictures of her and Rachel.

Brittany found the key that she knew was hidden right outside the door and used it to let herself in, since Santana hadn't returned a single call she had made to her in the last few weeks. She knew that Quinn was sugarcoating how Santana was doing when she would talk to her, so she flew in from New York and now here she was, pretty much breaking into the house. She had always admired how Santana and Rachel had kept the large formal house from feeling cold and uninviting but it was very noticeable as she walked in that Rachel had not been in the house for some time. It was sloppy, toys were strewn about, and it was obvious not much care had gone into cleaning the house in weeks. Her breath caught in her chest as she saw a silhouette of what used to be Santana, her best friend, illuminated by the tv sitting, well more like slumping over, on the large black leather couch. "San?" Brittany said tentatively.

Santana jumped a mile as she heard a voice which was definitely not Quinn coming from behind her. Forcing herself to close the photo album, she stood to face her visitor. "Brittany?" she asked, with obvious relief.

Brittany wanted to look away from Santana as she saw the state her friend was in, scarily skinny, dark circles under her eyes, which instead of sparkling and full of life were dull and listless. Instead of walking away, she walked quickly to her, taking her into a big hug. "Oh San, why haven't you retuned my calls?"

Santana had no good answer, so she just clung to her oldest friend as if she was afraid she would disappear.

Brittany stepped away once Santana loosened the tight hold she had on her. "You look awful. I'm going to yell at Quinn for telling me you were doing just fine."

"Don't do that. I told Quinn I was doing fine. I thought I was doing fine, it's just some days are harder than others."

"Is Addison home?"

"She's sleeping upstairs. I have been sleeping on the couch since, well that day. I can't bring myself to even go in our room," Santana finally admitted.

"It's a good thing I'm here to get you back on your feet because if the Berry's were to come and see this, you know they'd take Addison right back."

"I can't lose her too, I just can't Britt, but aren't you busy with dancing and your girlfriend?"

Brittany shook her head. "Nope, I'm all yours. I'm on a break from dancing, and I'm actually single at the moment," she admitted.

"Oh Britt, I'm really sorry."

"Don't be, it was nothing serious, besides, there's no place I'd rather be than here with you, San. You need me, even if you don't want to admit it."

Santana smiled for the first time that day. As much as Quinn had been helping her, she had to admit no one knew her like Brittany did, and that comforted Santana in a way she hadn't felt since she lost Rachel.

Brittany walked over to the answering machine. "Santana!" she scolded. "You have over twenty messages. You need to start facing reality." Brittany hit play on the machine, but immediately wished she had just left well enough alone.

"Hello, this message is for Rachel Berry. We are very happy to tell her that we decided to give her the part in Wicked that she auditioned for recently-"

"Oh God! Turn it off, please, make it stop!" Santana heard a voice scream, only to realize it was her own voice when she saw the look of shock on Brittany's face. Santana ran to the machine, pulling the cord out of the wall and throwing it across the room.

Brittany once again took Santana into a big hug, trying to calm her down. "Shh, Santana, it's ok," she said, trying to quiet her down. "You don't want to scare and wake up Addison."

Santana tried to calm herself down, and let herself just collapse into Brittany. "I need help," she admitted quietly.

Brittany ran a soothing hand up and down Santana's back. "I know, San, I know. I'm here now, ok?" Brittany led Santana over to the couch and sat her down. "Stay right here, ok? I'm going to make you some tea, and I'm going to help you through this."

Santana just nodded, she didn't trust herself to speak.

Brittany leaned against the granite countertop as she waited for the water to boil for the tea. Santana was much worse off than she had imagined and she was glad she was here now to help take care of her. Once the tea was ready, she carried two mugs out to the living room, placing one in Santana's hands. "Drink this and try to relax."

"I'm really glad you're here," Santana said after sipping her tea. Santana had always felt that no one really knew her, well besides Rachel and since she couldn't have her, Brittany was the only other person she could let her guard down with. She even had Quinn fooled into thinking she was fine.

Brittany knew exactly what Santana was saying, without really saying it. "It's going to be ok Santana. I'll help with Addie and we'll get you two back on track in no time," she said, more to convince herself than Santana.

Santana set her tea down on the coffee table, stifling a yawn.

"It's bedtime. Your challenge tonight, sleeping in your own bed."

"I can't Britt, please don't make me."

"You won't be alone, San. I'll be with you, every step of the way." Brittany took Santana's hand in hers and led her up the large staircase towards the bedroom.

With a deep breath, Santana opened the door to her bedroom for the first time in a long time. She felt sick to her stomach as the smell of Rachel's perfume hit her like a slap in the face. Everything had been left as if Rachel had just been in the room. She felt her knees go weak and had Brittany not been there, she would have been on the ground for sure.

Keeping a tight grip on Santana, Brittany led her to the bed. "Lay down San, I'll be right back as soon as I change."

Santana laid still, closing her eyes tightly, it was like she could almost feel Rachel in the bed beside her. She felt the bed dip and knew Brittany was getting in beside her. Soon Brittany's strong arms were around her, and for the first time in weeks, she fell into a deep sleep.

…_and all of my friends who think that I'm blessed, they don't know my head is a mess…_

**A/N: Just a quick note, don't worry my Pezberry fans, this will not turn into anything other than friendship for Brittana **


End file.
